Thursday, September 3, 2009

A Simple Spanking?

The previous post was called "Catching Up" because I am in the process of bringing you all up to speed on how spanking started in my relationship as well as where we are now. I am relaying incidents and things that may have happened a few weeks ago or a few months ago. Eventually I will be current. In the mean time I may jump around the time line a bit. Hopefully it doesn't get too confusing.

A few days after our little party Rachel surprised me one morning. The party was very nice and by all accounts well enjoyed. I tend to be a fairly neat person and like to have my home clean and in order. It may sound odd to some readers that I do quit a bit of housework around the home without being asked and before I ever was spanked. It seems like one of the big selling points of disciplining your husband is that he will do more housework and take on more household responsibility. Ladies this is true. You will also get a more agreeable and "obedient" husband as well.

Anyway, for a few days prior to the party I was busy doing extra cleaning, organizing and dusting. I tend to do this for a few reasons, I like to present a nice neat appearance and take pride in my home and yard. I think it reflects both upon myself and family but also lets my guests know that they are important to me and I respect them enough to provide a nice clean, comfortable atmosphere.

After the party I cleaned up the dishes, vacuumed and did the usual post party wrap. The house was in good order.

The next day or day later when I woke up Rachel asked me to take a good look around our room. She asked me if I noticed anything. I didn't know what she was talking about. There were no surprises or gifts or anything unusual.....the room was just neat, clean and organized. That is when she told me to take a good look at the top of my dresser. I suddenly had a feeling I knew what she was talking about. It was neat, dusted and organized. Perviously I had let that area get out of control. There were always keys, piles of receipts, mail, dust and other junk on top. It bothered me but I never found the time to clear it and if I did it was a mess in a matter of a day or two. It was typically a cluttered eyesore. Rachel told me that she appreciated the party and all my hard work. But she also went on to mention that I must have realized how bad my dresser looked otherwise I wouldn't have cleaned it up so well. That I must have been concerned that our friends would see such a mess even in passing to go to the restroom. She told me that she had almost given up hope on seeing that area clean but that was to change. With that she told me that she wanted to be sure that it would remain that way in the future and that I was to get a spanking to drive the point home. That is when she opened her night table and reached in and got Mrs Green out! This was new. Getting a spanking for something we previously never really discussed as a spanking offense. Also, I had cleaned the area without being told. Rachel was expanding her authority.

Although the kids were home she was going to give me a spanking! Honestly this blew me away since I didn't think she would ever risk them possible hearing the swats or sounds. Rachel then lifted up the bedspread, told me to get across her lap, covered us under the now tee pee bedspread and proceeded to give me a spanking. It wasn't particularly hard or loud but she made her point. Even though I deserved a much more strict spanking and was concerned that I might not take it seriously enough I knew how important this was to Rachel. Since that day about a month and half ago I have kept that area as neat and organized as the day of the party.

After my spanking she told me to roll over on to my back. Without a word she climbed on top of me, leaned forward and pinned my arms above my head and rode me very hard. She told me it was okay to cum which I did. Then she got up as if nothing happened and took a shower.

Wow! I wondered where this is headed....

Friday, August 28, 2009

Catching Up

So far it has been about seven months since we decided to give spanking another try. As I mentioned in my previous post I brought up the idea of spanking about three years ago and was first spanked half heartedly about a year ago. Although spanking was initially a flop and is still "experimental" or "we are trying it" my wife being in charge of all sex has not changed. It has been that way since I first seriously proposed the idea about three years ago. Initially she would ask if I was okay with it and if I wanted to have a little more say. Although it was difficult I stuck with my decision and have kept on track. It is very clear now that she does not want to go back to the old way and I can't blame her. Things sexually are very good and she is more open and has gradually become more and more naturally dominant sexually.

Honestly I think she was quite happy with the arrangement and only asked because I would talk about her being in charge sexually fairly often otherwise she never mentioned it, she just acted as if she were in charge and quite frankly was. I believe she also asked out of concern that if I talked about it I may not have been happy or was reconsidering and she wanted to be "fair".

The reason I spoke of her being in charge often were several: I needed regular clear reminders that she was in charge, and I never initiated sex so this was the closest thing since I never was assertive sexually with her since that day I agreed she was in charge. I don't think she really understood my need for her to occasionally be very clear that she was the boss. She was most definitely in charge but I needed more in your face type of reminders. Rachel also can be quiet and sometimes isn't comfortable talking about some intimate things. I really wanted to know what she felt. All actions and conversation indicated she was happy but I needed to be 110% sure. She is very clear now that she wants it to remain this way and not change back. Interestingly enough in this relationship the man is the bigger communicator.

So, here we are "trying" spanking just like we "tried" her being in charge of sex. I see very similar parallels. Rachel stops using words like "trying" and starts using words like "expect". Although she still expresses some hesitation about spanking and may go awhile without spanking she does go back to it. And I don't think it is strictly because I have expressed that I feel it is helping and working. I think she has seen some of the results. Although I spoke initially more of erotic spankings I quickly gravitated more toward real spankings and maintenance spankings. Rachel has seen the results and has said she is much more comfortable spanking (and by all accounts can really spank) she still has that side that occasionally struggles with using force and some pain. It in many ways is against a women's loving nature although I think she is understanding the loving side of spanking a man that needs guidance and direction. She is also seeing results! I'll write a quick post in a day or two about a simple spanking that got her exactly something she wanted. It surprised me and I did as told and have not wavered.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Mrs. Green and Her Friend Pay a Visit

You may be wondering what the title means. Those are the names I have given to the brushes that Rachel uses when she gives me an OTK spanking.

Spanking most certainly did not happen over night for us. It was a journey that started three years ago with Rachel becoming totally in charge of sex. At the time I brought up spanking but the concept did not really fly with Rachel. Two years later I got my first spanking. It was pretty much a bust. The initial spanking was done half heartedly and wasn't even remotely "firm" or stern even though there was good reason to be very firm. It wasn't even an hour before I really deserved another spanking. This did not sit well with Rachel and almost ended the idea of spanking all together.

I just didn't take the spanking she gave me very seriously. It was very mild and just didn't seem genuine to me. The idea pretty much died and it was at least six months before spanking was discussed seriously again. In the mean time however she did start to swat my butt at times while having sex. I think initially this was done as a compromise but I think that helped keep the door and concept open. I also think that she began to like doing it as well. Of course during this entire time she was in charge of sex and was becoming progressively more dominant and very comfortable with being very in charge of what, when and how sex was to happen. (see previous post) She definitely liked "being in charge of sex" and as she says "I expect you to be obedient and do as I say". She is very clear that she wants it this way and doesn't plan on going back. It is also slowly becoming more evident to me that her "being in charge" is beginning to spill over to other areas of our life.

Spanking is still very new to us and is being tested out. All signs are that it is truly effective for me for reasons I can't fully articulate or even understand but I accept. It is has become much easier to discuss spanking and discipline and I believe seems more normal or acceptable to Rachel. It seems totally normal to me now. I think it may be here to stay.

Several months ago we gave spanking another try. This time she was definitely more open and involved shall we say. Unfortunately she quickly discovered that spanking tended to hurt her hand. Because of this she did not spank particularly firm or for very long. I didn't tell her, but deep down I felt that they needed to be firmer. I was beginning to think this wasn't going to work for us. Ladies please note: interestingly, many sites suggest to women spankers that they "shouldn't disappoint" their man and that they should be "very firm." Well, I am here to say that ultimately they are correct. Well, at least for me.

When we decided to give it a another try Rachel had probably read very little or nothing about spanking and wasn't familiar with it. She did not experience spankings as a child. I recommended a few Web sites and foolishly suggested using a brush if it hurt her hand too much or if she needed to give a very firm spanking. I had never experienced a brush but many of the blogs and sites I read all mentioned utilizing a hair brush. I felt deep down that at this point in my life I needed LFA that included spanking. I was ready to commit just as I had when I gave all sexual authority to Rachel three years ago.

I sent Rachel a few links to sites such as My Bottom Smarts that discussed spanking and a link to a site that sold very attractive wooden paddles. It wasn't all that easy to find sites that wouldn't initially freak her out. So many sites are extreme or pretty much fantasy with leather clad dommes. Even well intentioned sites such as DWC (Disciplinary Wives Club) seem a bit too extreme, particularly for newbees or women that feel it may be physical abuse.

Anyway, we decided to give spanking a try again. Although we both mostly talked about "play" spankings I also talked about real spankings and the need for "firmness" and discipline. After one, hand only, spanking things changed.....Rachel didn't "disappoint". The very next spanking was approached as "play" but most definitely had an underlying message. She started off with her hand but to my total surprise reached under the pillow and quickly pulled out Mrs. Green for some very firm swats. Mrs Green is the plastic green brush pictured above. Rachel was amazingly "firm" for a "play" spanking and didn't seem to have an issue with swatting very firmly. Needless to say my bottom was very red! She also picked up the technique of wrapping her leg over mine to hold me in place. I could squirm and feel her amazingly soft, smooth strong legs but I really couldn't get away. I was quickly saying "yes ma'am" to any and everything. Later Rachel admitted that she had swatted her bottom a few times with Mrs Green prior to using her on me. She said it certainly stung. This really surprised me since she really gave me a solid spanking even after she knew how much the brush could sting. I think that was a major shift for her.

Afterward Rachel soothed my reddened bottom and allowed me to hug her leg. She then removed her undies and placed me firmly via a hair tug so my face was situated on her thigh looking right at her beautiful pussy. She kept me there for a nice long time as I rubbed her legs. Eventually she told me I was allowed to touch her fur which is manicured into a nice little landing strip. After about ten minutes of teasing and feeling her hand firmly on my head Rachel told me to kiss her lips as she tugged me firmly into position to lick. I spent the next 30-45 minutes lovingly following her firm hair tugs and guidance tasting and enjoying all her juices. It was like a wonderful dance.....Rachel leading and me magically following all her guidance.

Much to my surprise a few weeks later I went out and bought Rachel a high quality boars hair wooden brush. Let's just say that she has paid a visit and much to my surprise stings even more than Mrs. Green.

If you have any ideas on a good name for Mrs. Green's friend feel free to make a suggestion in the comments section.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

How it All Began Part l

Many of you may be wondering how this all began. It isn't all that common that a man gets put over his wife's knee and spanked. it may be a bit more common than one thinks but it certainly is kept fairly quiet.

By all accounts Rachel and I are a pretty typical couple if there is such a thing. If anyone was dominant in the relationship it would be me. I tended to call most if not all of the shots and have a fairly strong personality. In a crisis I am a take charge kind of guy and have never been afraid to stand up for myself. This is both a blessing and a curse. As I always say, someone's biggest strength is also their biggest weakness.

I tend to be more up and down and aggressive or confrontational while Rachel is very even tempered and willing to avoid conflict. So, how does the "aggressor" end up OTK?

About three years ago we were going through a pretty tough patch in our marriage. It was the closest I ever came to a divorce or asking to separate. Although there was more than one issue the one that stood out to me the most and the one that hit me at my "core" was the lack of "feeling" of love between us. As part of that, our sex life, although frequent was taking a turn for the worse. I was craving sex and attention and focusing on it and becoming obsessed. The more I felt we were drifting apart the more I wanted/needed sex. It was the reassurance I needed that things were okay although they weren't. This constant need just divided us more and was becoming a wedge that soon may cause a split. Although I was desperately trying to open up communication the more I wanted to talk the more Rachel pulled away. The conversation was usually one sided (me talking) and was a major frustration point for me. I will write a blog about spousal communication sometime since that is an entire subject in itself.

So for now to make this part of the post shorter I will give you the abridged version. Rachel pretty much let me know that my sexual demands were too frequent etc. As I said earlier this hit me at my "core". Although I can be aggressive and a major flirt I have always been the guy that waited for the women to make the first move. I did this to avoid rejection, and to be sure that I wasn't misreading the situation. I always wanted to be sure it was okay to move forward sexually. Bottom line sexually I am a pleaser. Having been with Rachel a long time this trait eventually fell to the wayside.

Over the weeks/months Rachel eventually opened up more and more about my need for too much sex and how she felt. Out of frustration and in a more fighting tone I offered to only have sex if she initiated. I think we both felt that this "solution" I proposed was mostly done out of frustration and during a tension filled moment. Eventually I came to realize that her being in charge is what it must be and that I ultimately needed Rachel's guidance as to sex, (when, where, type) if we were to survive. It became apparent to me that although frustrated and very close to walking away I would recommit and give all sexual control to Rachel. Don't get me wrong, to me it wasn't entirely about sex, for me it was the feeling of not being cared for or loved. Sex was just the symbol or metaphor. I had to have faith.

So I did what any geek would do. I turned to the Web and after seeing lots of porn and other crap I came upon LFA - Loving Female Authority, Females spanking men etc. I must admit I found much of it interesting as well as erotic. I have always liked or been attracted to sexually aggressive women or confident women.

I found several serious or semi-serious sites about female led relationships and eventually spanking. Although I understood their core values I could see how they could and for the most part come across as manipulative or too extreme. I read them and decided to give all sexual control to Rachel. Giving and doing are two different things my friends. I also started on the concept of some level of general "stealth submission". A concept mentioned on many of these sites. I will write a post on that as well.

I introduced the idea of Rachel having complete sexual authority. I was serious, calm, willing and at least offering some sort of solution. She understood and accepted. I am proud to say once the idea was agreed upon in theory I totally committed and no matter how difficult I have never wavered in close to three years. I take great pride in that and ultimately know it is best for me to accept my loving wife's authority.

So, what does this have to do with spanking!? I'm getting there. As many of you know that these things take time. Patience and commitment are major virtues.

More to come in a day or two.....

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I Told Rachel

This post is for those of you who have commented and wanted to know if I have told Rachel about Betty over hearing my scolding or possible seeing my spanking. First, thank you for your comments. It is always nice to know people are reading and that there are folks like me out there in the world. Your comments and advice are appreciated. I can understand now more than ever why one of my favorite blogs has recently required commenter's to have a user name.

As I mentioned in my previous post while I was getting my disciplinary spanking I tried to tell Rachel that we might be visible but to no avail. At the time I wasn't sure if I was heard, if Rachel cared at that particular moment or what. So, the other night I brought the subject up to Rachel while we were in bed. To my surprise it didn't seem to bother her that she may have been heard scolding or even possible seen spanking me. This came as bit of a surprise since she usually takes precautions to make sure we are in a private situation. Although, recently Rachel had given me a spanking (fairly mild) while people were in the house. Anyway, she surprises me at times which makes it hard to figure her out.

Rachel's main comment was "well at least it was you (meaning me) that was being scolded and being placed OTK." She went on to state that she liked Betty and felt Betty was discreet and from what she knew about Betty that Betty wouldn't be all that shocked. She went on to say that Betty was probably proud of Rachel for being in charge and not taking any guff. I sat there and all I could think was Wow. When I brought up that Betty might have seen me kneeling and licking Rachel while she had her hand firmly in my hair guiding me, Rachel again said pretty matter-of-fact that better for Betty to have seen you kneeling and following my guidance than the other way around. With that she smiled and kind of chuckled. Again, I thought to myself Wow.

Later while I was laying in bed I thought of a conversation Betty, Rachel and I had quite sometime ago about her back neighbor. Betty doesn't particularly like him. Over the years I have had very little interaction with him but I can say none of it has left me with a good impression either. Betty mentioned that she had heard him more than once being verbally abusive to his wife and being a complete ass. She disapproved of his behavior and his lack of respect toward his wife, kids, and her. Betty went on to say something about he needed a good lesson one of these days or words to that effect. I didn't give it too much thought at the time, but now I know Betty has paddled kids in her charge and probably seen me spanked I wonder what she thinks. I also have an enhanced view of her and her standing. I have always been friendly and willing to help her and Patty, whether it is cleaning gutters, basic automobile assistance, computer assistance or fixing something around their house. When I look back over the years I realize that they have practically become family members and I treat them much like an aunt.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Party

The past week has been fairly busy around the house. I have been a "good boy" keeping up with my chores and trying to help around the house as much as possible. Most importantly I am trying to maintain the "standards"that Rachel and I have agreed upon. "Standards" does not really refer to housework or chores. I have always been fairly helpful around the house and do my share, so that has never really been an issue. Of course when I say "my share" it is from my male perspective. In any event, to date we haven't really discussed using spanking for keeping me on track helping around the house.

It has been generally agreed upon that a disciplinary spanking will be utilized for adjusting poor attitude, grumpy behavior and inappropriate behavior. Inappropriate behavior includes things like losing my temper in the car and cursing. I hope to formalize this a bit more since I like to know what Rachel's expectations are. Surprisingly I find a certain level of comfort knowing I will be held accountable. Amazingly it was me that gravitated more toward disciplinary spankings as opposed to "fun" or role-play type of spankings. I think that partially has to do with how real a spanking feels to me. I will write a posting on that in the near future I think.

Anyway, this weekend we had a party at our home. Mostly family was here but some friends and neighbors attended. Most notable was my next door neighbors Betty and Patty. It has been about a week since I've seen Betty and I wasn't sure what to expect. Our last encounter was brief but it most certainly left me feeling that she knows I get spanked. If you read my previous postings you would know that I am pretty sure that Betty not only heard me get scolded and told I was going to get a spanking but that she may have actually witnessed some of my spanking though the window. Yikes!

The party was going quite well. Everyone was enjoying themselves chatting, eating and drinking. Eventually Betty and I ended up in a small circle which included my son and other neighbor Dave. My son is very smart and is doing tutoring work over the summer to make extra bucks. He is now in college. Betty was asking him about his growing tutoring enterprise and was offering to connect him to some local educational administrators. The conversation then drifted to Betty's long background in education. While she was reviewing the many jobs and positions she held it came out that she had been the local high school vice principle for many years. That is when my son complained about his former high school vice principle being to strict. The VP was known for taking iPods and cell phones etc as well as being kind of an unreasonable man and a jerk. That is when Betty smiled and started talking about how as the vice principle she was the main disciplinarian of the high school and that back in her day the paddle was used so kids have it pretty easy today. She joked that she must have spanked half the adult men currently living in our school district to which Dave laughed and agreed. I believe he even blushed a bit. He is older than me and grew up in the area. Dave quickly laughed and told me had I grown up here I would most certainly have crossed paths with Betty sometime during my high school years. Betty didn't miss a beat, smiled and looked directly at me and responded "naughty boys are never too old to put over the knee." I must have turned ten shades of red. I don't know if it was my imagination but I felt her comment was directed right at me. Everyone hesitated for a second which felt like an eternity and then we all burst into a nice laugh. That is when she added in what I felt was a more serious tone "good behavior and discipline are life long commitments. I still feel that I carry my vice principle responsibilities with me to this day." Now my head was really spinning. I couldn't believe it and wasn't sure how to take what was just said or how the others may have interrupted it since I felt that the comment was directly made to me. I quickly found an excuse to go tend to some guests and got the heck out of their.

I get along really well with Dave. Both of our wives always joke about how we are cut from the same cloth. Although he can be a wise ass he is a great guy. In the past he has jokingly said things to some neighbors that were mistakenly taken seriously. Once you get to know him you know it is his sense of humor. Anyway, when I thought about it whenever I've seen him interact with Betty and Patty it has always been in a very respectful and friendly manor. He never acts like a smart ass or pushes things. I wonder if that is an after effect from having been spanked.

I am now on a mission to find out more about Betty and her paddling past but I don't want to tip my hand to Dave. I was pretty sure from the conversation that she must have paddled Dave at some point. Personally I think Betty will keep what she probably heard and saw to herself. She has always been a great neighbor and seems to really like me. She has gossiped to me over time about some of the other neighbors but those are neighbors I think that initially weren't too accepting or are still not accepting of her "lifestyle" with Patty. Betty and Patty have a long history in the neighborhood since they are original owners. I am pretty sure that they must have been a bit scandalous at the time since they are lesbian. My neighborhood is comprised of longtime older original owners, a few established families with older kids such as mine and new families that move in as the original owners die off or move to smaller places.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

A Reprieve

So far I have not seen Betty since my spanking.

Fortunately while I was out running errands that my wife "requested". Betty came over  to ask if we could water her plants and take in her mail since she was going to be out of town for a few days. This is a pretty common occurrence since her female"partner" owns a vacation cabin a few hours away. They head up there regularly to check on the place and to relax. They also like to travel around the world and often take trips.

We have lived next door to Betty and Patty her "partner" for about ten years. They are great neighbors. They are both retired women in their late 60's to early 70's.  Although they are retired and usually home during the day they still do some consulting work now and then. 

Although Betty is in her very early 70's she is an intelligent, strong, vibrant women. She has remained active playing tennis most of her life and appears to be in very good shape. She is quite tall for an older women standing about 5'9.  Betty grew up here when the area was still orchards. Her father was a farmer/rancher back in the day so she is use to hard work and being outdoors. The area has grown substantially since Betty was a young girl. 

Betty is the more out going of the two ladies and is usually the one to strike up a conversation or ask a favor. I regularly go over there and clean gutters or help her with her computer. Although she is quite capable to clean gutters I don't like seeing her up on a ladder and since I'm doing my own it seems only right to go over and do her house as well. Patty and Betty both worked in the school system. Betty eventually going the administrative route holding positions as vice-principle and local school administrator. Patty stayed in the classroom teaching two or three different subjects.