Friday, August 28, 2009

Catching Up

So far it has been about seven months since we decided to give spanking another try. As I mentioned in my previous post I brought up the idea of spanking about three years ago and was first spanked half heartedly about a year ago. Although spanking was initially a flop and is still "experimental" or "we are trying it" my wife being in charge of all sex has not changed. It has been that way since I first seriously proposed the idea about three years ago. Initially she would ask if I was okay with it and if I wanted to have a little more say. Although it was difficult I stuck with my decision and have kept on track. It is very clear now that she does not want to go back to the old way and I can't blame her. Things sexually are very good and she is more open and has gradually become more and more naturally dominant sexually.

Honestly I think she was quite happy with the arrangement and only asked because I would talk about her being in charge sexually fairly often otherwise she never mentioned it, she just acted as if she were in charge and quite frankly was. I believe she also asked out of concern that if I talked about it I may not have been happy or was reconsidering and she wanted to be "fair".

The reason I spoke of her being in charge often were several: I needed regular clear reminders that she was in charge, and I never initiated sex so this was the closest thing since I never was assertive sexually with her since that day I agreed she was in charge. I don't think she really understood my need for her to occasionally be very clear that she was the boss. She was most definitely in charge but I needed more in your face type of reminders. Rachel also can be quiet and sometimes isn't comfortable talking about some intimate things. I really wanted to know what she felt. All actions and conversation indicated she was happy but I needed to be 110% sure. She is very clear now that she wants it to remain this way and not change back. Interestingly enough in this relationship the man is the bigger communicator.

So, here we are "trying" spanking just like we "tried" her being in charge of sex. I see very similar parallels. Rachel stops using words like "trying" and starts using words like "expect". Although she still expresses some hesitation about spanking and may go awhile without spanking she does go back to it. And I don't think it is strictly because I have expressed that I feel it is helping and working. I think she has seen some of the results. Although I spoke initially more of erotic spankings I quickly gravitated more toward real spankings and maintenance spankings. Rachel has seen the results and has said she is much more comfortable spanking (and by all accounts can really spank) she still has that side that occasionally struggles with using force and some pain. It in many ways is against a women's loving nature although I think she is understanding the loving side of spanking a man that needs guidance and direction. She is also seeing results! I'll write a quick post in a day or two about a simple spanking that got her exactly something she wanted. It surprised me and I did as told and have not wavered.


Widgets said...

Hi Richard:
We enjoyed your article and congratulate Rachel as she moves toward being an open, consulting, and respecting Head of Household. As you note she is in charge but she takes you into consideration as the number ONE of her life. This is what will make your relationship terrific. Best Regards:
Rachel & aj Widget

Rob said...

Nice post and helps to explain the dynamic in a way that I also relate to. I don't always understand it, but it just works for us.

Anonymous said...

Spanks for the memories, Ginger.